We’ve updated our Terms of Use to reflect our new entity name and address. You can review the changes here.
We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

Consolamentum

by Twilight Fields

/
1.
Endura 08:29
So much pain Weighing on my mind The clawing need To be understood But always the words I can’t seem to get them through I can’t reach you To make you hear The love I’m trying to share At last I learned That to really live I had to kill My Self And create in the joy Of the moment That will not come again But replaced by another To bring new life Shifting in and out of view Jealousy Eating at my soul I fight and fight But It still won't go away Until I root out The source of all my fears The anguish of our need to be loved And love in return At last I learned That to really live I had to kill My Self Every last vestige Of what I was Burned away without shame Just a love of all that is All things around me All the good and the bad A hollow shell awaiting The moment to be filled With all the vastness Of the world, no more me No more you I’m singing this for all of us These sounds I cry These words I weep I’m singing them for all of us So that when I’m finally gone I’ll still be here with you
2.
Long Night 05:24
It's a lonely life Here in the crowd Never can get out From under that shroud All the grief All the suffering and strife You can't take them with you Into the long night Look back on the years You can't remember a thing All the disappointments Dreams that didn't take wing But this is not the end So don't give up the fight You've got some living to do Before the long night It's never over You're never beat So hold your head up Don't admit defeat There's always a chance It's in every moment One moment of truth Is worth your whole life So get out of your bed And step out the door Take the blows and walk on Then ask them for more Strain at your bonds With all of your might There's still some work to be done Before the long night
3.
Joy 05:35
I can still see Your sweet face in my lonely mind Love is such sorrow To part But we must bear it This cry of love Through our tears Echoes on forever Everything we've done The time that we've spent Will always be a part of me And when the time comes To drop off all my burdens My last thoughts will be of you Love is joy and Joy dispells The darkness Don’t leave without One last kiss Till I see you Again The laughter and the tears The slow drift of our years Will always be a part of me And when the time comes To throw off all these cares My last thoughts will be of you Love is joy and Joy dispells The darkness Don’t leave without One last kiss Till I see you Again
4.
I know I can’t save you Though there’s nothing I wouldn’t do I’d go to the ends of the earth If there was something that would help But your eyes and ears are closed Only see and hear what you want You're lost on an ocean of pain Would you rather be there than here? I can’t save you No matter how I want to I can't save you So many years are left on this journey I want there to be hope I still believe the children we were Redeem us in the end So if you need me I’ll be here Though it's never enough To drag you out of the shade Out into the light I can’t save you No matter how I want to I can't save you I desperately want to I can't save you
5.
North 08:07
Trapped inside this stale old life, burdened by a past lived in lies Something had to change I had a vision of a place, snow and lakes and trees Blue sky and boundless space I had to get there A place so pure and empty where life still lives wild Where you can feel the fullness of your days Reflected in the stars clear in the sky This is my home now I’m sorry for all the things I’ve done and said All the people that I’ve hurt, all the pain I didn’t understand But I’m leaving all that behind For a place without boundaries, a new horizon The forest, ancient rock and empty roads, Soaring birds, driving snow, the stark beauty of this earth You’ll find me where the stars glow at night In the north
6.
Lost 08:22
We give We take We love We hate We weep We laugh We hurt We lash out We dull Our minds We’re cruel Rarely kind We scratch We squeeze We crawl We fall We kill We fight We search For light We cling We fear We destroy What we hold dear Underneath all this hate We just want To feel love So we kill We fight We need more light We are lost in each other Can’t see a world beyond ourselves We are lost in each other Can’t find our way back to ourselves We are lost in each other Can’t tell the real from the false We are lost in each other Can’t see a world beyond ourselves We are lost in each other And we can’t find our selves
7.
After so many years of devotion How could I turn away so fast Tormented and lost, so anxious and frightened Of the ghosts from my past That I forgot about you I’m sorry In your time of need I was looking away I’m sorry Searching for refuge with anyone but you I’m sorry And now I wonder if I’ll ever have you back Time heals all wounds, but the flesh is gone And the scar still burns at night Our love isn’t over, still we fight on We’ll never give up on each other
8.
Days 05:52
Years, trickling like so much Water down the drain Days, run into each other Like mountain streams Years, you count them up But you can feel them mounting Days, you waste them Playing games you'll never win Stay with me now, and let’s try Just to be what we are Years, the brown and blonde Fade to granite grey Days, the skin once smooth Now ashen, hanging loose Years, the wisdom promised So painful to realize Days, how can you explain The sadness twisting inside Stay with me now, and let’s try To make it all worthwhile
9.
10.
You and Me 05:22
It’s a hard world It’s a hard world out there Especially when you wander Through those long nights Cold and alone It’s a short life This life is so short But we sat there on the grass Watching the world go by And we laughed it Now I’m a little worn out Yes, I’m a little worn down, love My clothes may out of style But my heart still feels so young Still I’m a little scared Of the darkness Of that darkness outside It lies just beyond us Beyond the light Beyond the light you bring to me Now I look at you, And you look at me And if you think about it I know you’ll agree If you gotta be with someone If you gotta be with someone I think it should be me Because I love you I love you as I always have Since that time in the summer long ago When I couldn’t get a job We were so poor back then And I’ll protect you I’ll protect you if I can From all the evil the world That other men do You know, oh you know I’d never anything happen to you Now I look at you And you look at me And if you think about it I know you’ll agree If you gotta be old with someone You gotta be old with someone I know it should be me Just you and me And when we’re old, love When we’re oh, so tired And we lie down to sleep I hope you’ll be glad it was me Oh just you and me We can make it if we try Just you and me Just you and me
11.
In Time 05:57
No matter what I do It's never enough I'm so tired of myself Help me In time peace will come I know it When you reach out, help will come I know it Help me

about

Consolamentum is a post-rock singer-songwriter album that deals with a number of difficult subjects such as depression, betrayal, loss, and disconnection but also offers the power of hope, determination, and love as the solution to these ills. The album's musical influences stem from a variety of sources, including post-rock, dream pop, ambient, post-punk, psychedelic rock, acid-folk and progressive rock.

"Consolamentum ... was the unique sacrament of the Cathars. In common with Christianity, Cathars believed in original sin, and, like Gnostics, believed temporal pleasure to be sinful or unwise. The process of living thus inevitably incurred 'regret' that required 'consolation' to move nearer to God or to approach heaven. It occurred only twice in a lifetime: upon confirmation in the faith and upon impending death ... Some of those who received the sacrament of the consolamentum upon their deathbeds may thereafter have shunned further food or drink in order to speed death. This has been termed the endura."
(Wikipedia)

credits

released April 10, 2017

Cover photo: Canadian conservationist Jack Miner (Library and Archives Canada)

This recording is dedicated in memory of my companion, Big Kitty, whose gentle, tranquil spirit guided me through 11 years and made me a better person.

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

Twilight Fields

Twilight Fields is from Northern Canada and makes "ambient rock" with influences from progressive rock, ambient, dream-pop, psych-folk and shoegaze. This music asks big questions about life and loss. Look for party-rock elsewhere. See also thegatelessgate.bandcamp.com ... more

contact / help

Contact Twilight Fields

Streaming and
Download help

Redeem code

Report this album or account

If you like Twilight Fields, you may also like: