Consolamentum

by Twilight Fields

supported by
/
1.
08:29
2.
05:24
3.
05:35
4.
5.
08:07
6.
08:22
7.
8.
05:52
9.
10.
05:22
11.
05:57

about

Consolamentum is a post-rock singer-songwriter album that deals with a number of difficult subjects such as depression, betrayal, loss, and disconnection in an increasingly fractured society but also offers the power of unconditional hope, determination, and love as the solution to these ills. The album's musical influences stem from a variety of sources, including post-rock, dream pop, ambient, post-punk, psychedelic rock, acid-folk and progressive rock.

"Consolamentum ... was the unique sacrament of the Cathars. In common with Christianity, Cathars believed in original sin, and, like Gnostics, believed temporal pleasure to be sinful or unwise. The process of living thus inevitably incurred 'regret' that required 'consolation' to move nearer to God or to approach heaven. It occurred only twice in a lifetime: upon confirmation in the faith and upon impending death ... Some of those who received the sacrament of the consolamentum upon their deathbeds may thereafter have shunned further food or drink in order to speed death. This has been termed the endura."
(Wikipedia)

credits

released April 10, 2017

Cover photo: Canadian conservationist Jack Miner (Library and Archives Canada)

This recording is dedicated in memory of my companion, Big Kitty, whose gentle, tranquil spirit guided me through 11 years and made me a better person.

tags

license

all rights reserved

about

Twilight Fields

Twilight Fields is from Northern Canada and makes a mixture of atmospheric and psychedelic rock and influences from progressive rock, ambient, dream-pop, psych-folk and shoegaze. This music asks big questions about life and loss; it's serious music for serious-minded people. See also thegatelessgate.bandcamp.com ... more

contact / help

Contact Twilight Fields

Streaming and
Download help

Redeem code

Track Name: Endura
So much pain
Weighing on my mind
The clawing need
To be understood

But always the words
I can’t seem to get them through
I can’t reach you
To make you hear

The love I’m trying to share

At last I learned
That to really live
I had to kill
My
Self

And create in the joy
Of the moment
That will not come again

But replaced by another
To bring new life
Shifting in and out of view

Jealousy
Eating at my soul
I fight and fight
But It still won't go away

Until I root out
The source of all my fears
The anguish of our
need to be loved

And love in return

At last I learned
That to really live
I had to kill
My
Self

Every last vestige
Of what I was
Burned away without shame

Just a love of all that is
All things around me
All the good and the bad

A hollow shell awaiting
The moment to be filled
With all the vastness

Of the world, no more me
No more you
I’m singing this for all of us

These sounds I cry
These words I weep
I’m singing them for all of us

So that when I’m finally gone I’ll still be here with you
Track Name: Long Night
It's a lonely life
Here in the crowd
Never can get out
From under that shroud
All the grief
All the suffering and strife
You can't take them with you
Into the long night

Look back on the years
You can't remember a thing
All the disappointments
Dreams that didn't take wing
But this is not the end
So don't give up the fight
You've got some living to do
Before the long night

It's never over
You're never beat
So hold your head up
Don't admit defeat
There's always a chance
It's in every moment
One moment of truth
Is worth your whole life

So get out of your bed
And step out the door
Take the blows and walk on
Then ask them for more
Strain at your bonds
With all of your might
There's still some work to be done
Before the long night
Track Name: Joy
I can still see
Your sweet face
in my lonely mind

Love is such sorrow
To part
But we must bear it

This cry of love
Through our tears
Echoes on forever

Everything we've done
The time that we've spent
Will always be a part of me
And when the time comes
To drop off all my burdens
My last thoughts will be of you

Love is joy and
Joy dispells
The darkness

Don’t leave without
One last kiss
Till I see you
Again

The laughter and the tears
The slow drift of our years
Will always be a part of me
And when the time comes
To throw off all these cares
My last thoughts will be of you

Love is joy and
Joy dispells
The darkness

Don’t leave without
One last kiss
Till I see you
Again
Track Name: I Can't Save You
I know I can’t save you
Though there’s nothing I wouldn’t do

I’d go to the ends of the earth
If there was something that would help

But your eyes and ears are closed
Only see and hear what you want

You're lost on an ocean of pain
Would you rather be there than here?

I can’t save you
No matter how I want to
I can't save you

So many years are left on this journey
I want there to be hope

I still believe the children we were
Redeem us in the end

So if you need me I’ll be here
Though it's never enough

To drag you out of the shade
Out into the light

I can’t save you
No matter how I want to
I can't save you
I desperately want to
I can't save you
Track Name: North
Trapped inside this stale old life, burdened by a past lived in lies
Something had to change
I had a vision of a place, snow and lakes and trees
Blue sky and boundless space
I had to get there

A place so pure and empty where life still lives wild
Where you can feel the fullness of your days
Reflected in the stars clear in the sky
This is my home now

I’m sorry for all the things I’ve done and said
All the people that I’ve hurt, all the pain I didn’t understand

But I’m leaving all that behind
For a place without boundaries, a new horizon

The forest, ancient rock and empty roads,
Soaring birds, driving snow, the stark beauty of this earth

You’ll find me where the stars glow at night

In the north
Track Name: Lost
We give
We take
We love
We hate

We weep
We laugh
We hurt
We lash out

We dull
Our minds
We’re cruel
Rarely kind

We scratch
We squeeze
We crawl
We fall

We kill
We fight
We search
For light

We cling
We fear
We destroy
What we hold dear

Underneath
all this hate
We just want
To feel love

So we kill
We fight
We need
more light

We are lost in each other
Can’t see a world beyond ourselves

We are lost in each other
Can’t find our way back to ourselves

We are lost in each other
Can’t tell the real from the false

We are lost in each other
Can’t see a world beyond ourselves

We are lost in each other
And we can’t find our selves
Track Name: The Year I Left
After so many years of devotion
How could I turn away so fast

Tormented and lost, so anxious and frightened
Of the ghosts from my past
That I forgot about you

I’m sorry
In your time of need I was looking away
I’m sorry
Searching for refuge with anyone but you
I’m sorry
And now I wonder if I’ll ever have you back

Time heals all wounds, but the flesh is gone
And the scar still burns at night

Our love isn’t over, still we fight on
We’ll never give up on each other
Track Name: Days
Years, trickling like so much
Water down the drain
Days, run into each other
Like mountain streams

Years, you count them up
But you can feel them mounting
Days, you waste them
Playing games you'll never win

Stay with me now, and let’s try
Just to be what we are

Years, the brown and blonde
Fade to granite grey
Days, the skin once smooth
Now ashen, hanging loose

Years, the wisdom promised
So painful to realize
Days, how can you explain
The sadness twisting inside

Stay with me now, and let’s try
To make it all worthwhile
Track Name: You and Me
It’s a hard world
It’s a hard world out there
Especially when you wander
Through those long nights
Cold and alone

It’s a short life
This life is so short
But we sat there on the grass
Watching the world go by
And we laughed it

Now I’m a little worn out
Yes, I’m a little worn down, love
My clothes may out of style
But my heart still feels so young
Still I’m a little scared

Of the darkness
Of that darkness outside
It lies just beyond us
Beyond the light
Beyond the light you bring to me

Now I look at you,
And you look at me
And if you think about it
I know you’ll agree
If you gotta be with someone
If you gotta be with someone
I think it should be me

Because I love you
I love you as I always have
Since that time in the summer long ago
When I couldn’t get a job
We were so poor back then

And I’ll protect you
I’ll protect you if I can
From all the evil the world
That other men do
You know, oh you know
I’d never anything happen to you

Now I look at you
And you look at me
And if you think about it
I know you’ll agree
If you gotta be old with someone
You gotta be old with someone
I know it should be me
Just you and me

And when we’re old, love
When we’re oh, so tired
And we lie down to sleep
I hope you’ll be glad it was me
Oh just you and me
We can make it if we try

Just you and me

Just you and me
Track Name: In Time
No matter what I do
It's never enough

I'm so tired of myself
Help me

In time peace will come
I know it

When you reach out, help will come
I know it
Help me